Wednesday, October 4, 2017

I cannot do it all

There is so much to do and so little time.  I've heard it said often and I have said it myself.  Some days, I wonder how I would have done all the extra things if I were a working parent and my kids went to school outside my home.  Well that's not a fair comparison because those who work outside the home do not have all of their daily activities happening and making messes in their homes.  This past Monday is a prime example.  I cleaned the kitchen and swept the floor while the kids were working on their school work.  We had choir practice and a volleyball game and were away from the house for 5-6 hours.  We got home and I made supper, frozen pizza for the kids and homemade low carb pizza for myself.  I cleaned up after myself, but the kitchen was a disaster.  My kids make their own meals for lunch and with the hurried nature of getting out the door, the bread wasn't wrapped tightly, there was a cheese wrapper on the counter.  Spills and crumbs on another counter.  Dishes were not put in the dishwasher and the pizza boxes never made it farther than the dining room table.  There were chunks of mud on the kitchen floor.
One could talk about how my kid should be more disciplined at cleaning up after themselves.  I have a secret for you... home schooled kids are kids too.  Some are clean and some are sloppy.  Some are careful and some are eccentric.  I have walked with my kids as toddlers and used their hand to pick up trash on the floor and helped them throw it away.  I have taught them repeatedly that the table needs wiped off if you clear it.  I have taught them to clean the stove top after a spill and close the bread wrapper.  My kids are still normal kids with attention spans of toddlers and they don't automatically do what is right.  I really don't think they see the mess sometimes.  
I'm not the perfect parent either.  I am not a naturally t
idy person.  I fall more into the eccentric category than disciplined and orderly.  I really like some of my life to be very organized and planned, but other areas are fly by the seat of my pants.  For me to establish a good habit I really have to work on it.  I have this problem, though.  I can't do good at everything at the same time.  I am very good about paying bills and balancing my checkbook.  That is, until I'm very good at keeping my kitchen clean.  I'm great at that until I'm good at getting dressed nicely every day and keeping myself looking good.  I think you get the picture. For every good habit I've formed, it seems I have an equal and opposite bad habit.  There was a time I thought maybe I was bipolar, but now I realize that I'm just a normal person trying to do it all at once or give up on all of it because I can't be do everything well.  I want to be the crafty homeschool mom who does neato things with the kids all the time while keeping an immaculate house and takes them to all their activities while being an active volunteer at church and keeping my spiritual habits in check and keeping tabs on the news and making time for myself and my husband with the clever date nights and being the encourager and volunteer when things need done and make beautiful menus and and and and.  Woah!  I'm just one person and I can't do it all!
As I've matured, ok aged, I have truly developed some good healthy habits.  I found a good time for myself to read the Bible every day.  I make my bed in the mornings and take care of the animals.  I take my morning vitamins and am following a healthy eating plan.  I'm trying to find time to make priority out of the important things.  I fail with my husband and my kids and correspondence and communication more often than not, but I think I need to give myself credit for the good habits I DO have.  And the good habits I do have came over time.  They came through trial and error, and they also came one at a time.  Baby steps.  Whenever I try to start on Monday and do all that I aspire toward, I fall flat on my face!  
Another thing I am recognizing is that I DO have time when I think I don't.  Yesterday, I made granola.  You have to stir it every 15 minutes.  Normally I would put it in the oven and sit on Facebook or some computer game while I wait for each timer.  Today, I had some tasks I wanted to complete.  I cleaned and swept our guest bathroom in 8 minutes.  I then put away the dirty rag and got a new one and went in to the master bath.  I didn't finish it when the first 15 minute timer went off.  I washed my hands, stirred the granola and set out to scrub the tub.  I ran our of cleaner, so I had to reconstitute more, so I wasn't finished at the second timer.  I washed my hands, stirred the granola and then went back to work.  I finished the master bath and swept the kitchen again and put all my supplies away before the 3rd timer went off.  This really was a big deal for me to start to recognize that while I can't do it all, I can do more than I have been doing.  
Just as I had to limit my kids' electronics including listening to music until they met certain goals, I need to ground myself from media that takes my attention completely.  So I guess I'm just saying that if I and if you as a homeschool parent has aspirations to do better, we need to try and pace ourselves.  Also, I need to give myself grace when I can't complete everything I had planned.  Balance is key!  I need to prioritize which habits are eternal, which are meaningful and which need to go.  I would rather be proud of balance than busyness.


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